How Positive Self-Talk Helped Me Stop Living in Fear
How Overcoming My Fear of Kayaking Set Me Free
I love the quote by W. Clement Stone,
“Thinking will not overcome fear, but action will.”
That phrase has been the story of my life. There is so much truth to that quote. So many people I have met throughout my life are paralyzed by fear and never seem to change or grow. Fear can make you feel stuck in time, almost like Groundhog’s Day. Our spirit connects us to the universe. Fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that something outside of us is a dangerous threat and may cause us pain. If your spirit is dominated by fear, and it takes over your world, it will impact your connection to the universe, love, positivity, and experiences.
I have always loved the ocean and anything to do with water. Yet, as a child, I had these awful nightmares about water accidents. A recurring dream throughout my childhood was losing control of my car, driving over a bridge, and ending up underwater stuck in the car. I would either find a way out and save everyone in the car, or I would wake up in a panic, not knowing how the nightmare finished. That nightmare stuck with me through my adulthood. I never feared swimming but feared being on anything in the water and losing control of it.
In my mid-thirties, I had my first opportunity to try kayaking on a large lake in Ohio with some friends. At first, I was very excited. Then as we were gearing up, I started to get nervous and began experiencing severe anxiety. I tried telling myself I would be fine and nothing would happen to me, but for some reason, those nightmares started to show their ugly head. I sat in the kayak, but when my ex-husband pushed me away from shore, I freaked out and started crying. He started laughing at me saying it was easy. He kept reminding me to just paddle around, and that I knew how to swim. His tone of voice angered me, and he just kept pushing. I pushed back and came to shore. But I was still determined to conquer my fear. Luckily, his best friend had more patience and helped me overcome my fear in a kinder way.
Everyone else took off kayaking and his friend stayed to guide me. We kept to the shallows. He reassured me that he was with me, and nothing was going to happen. He helped me get used to paddling and changing directions, so I could gain the confidence to go out into deeper water. He continued to encourage me by reminding me of all the places I could see that I wouldn’t be able to if I was swimming or riding in a boat. It was exactly what I needed to hear. I am an adventurer, and I love challenges. I started getting used to the movements of the kayak, and after about twenty minutes, I was paddling around the entire lake with no fear. I fell in love with kayaking and realized it was a great workout.
I was faced with the fear again when I moved to Florida. Now I had open water, bays, waves, currents, and my fear of sharks to contend with. My first time out in Sarasota Bay I experienced a similar reaction as on the lake. Except this time, I remembered everything my friend told me. I was able to calm myself and work through my fear. I knew the experiences I had in Florida would be amazing and I didn’t want to miss out on them. The bay is filled with small islands, mangrove tunnels, and shallow water to travel and see nature at its best. Now I have moved on from a kayak to a paddleboard, I really overcame my fear!
If you let fear consume you, you will miss some of the best moments of your life. Don’t live your life wondering, what if. Take baby steps towards facing and overcoming your fears. I implemented self-talk to overcome the challenges in my life. You will gain confidence and feel empowered when you finally triumph over your fears. The feeling is like no other, opening you up to endless life experiences.
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” - Nelson Mandela
