5 Signs You’re in A Happy-Healthy Relationship

How to Navigate Your First Healthy Relationship After a Toxic One

I am forty-eight years young, a relationship woman, and have been in long-term partnerships since I was seventeen. My past two marriages failed, but now, I am in the healthiest relationship of my life. The journey to this point has been amazing and eye-opening teaching me lessons of love and self-discovery. The most important lesson is being aware of your past, so it doesn’t carry over and impact future relationships. Essentially, learning how to release the baggage and heal from your past relationships.

Knowing what I know now, here are my five signs of a healthy relationship to look out for:

1. Communication is the key.

If something is bothering you, talk about it. Don’t wait and create false stories in your mind of what may be going on with your partner. Your stories will start to blur the truth. Resentment will build up and your body language will shift. Your partner will sense insecurity, and if you aren’t open and honest with them, the relationship will suffer. On the other hand, if your partner doesn’t communicate well, it may cause overthinking and increased miscommunication, leading to more discord in the relationship. Being honest as soon as an issue arises is key. Talk about it amicably and in a positive manner. Don’t be afraid to relate your insecurities to your past traumas to help them better understand why something is bothering you.

2. Don’t give up your power in a relationship.

Set boundaries. It’s easy to fall into the trap of letting your partner control everything in the relationship, however, there’s a risk of losing yourself and who you are in the process. Continue doing the things you love. If your partner doesn’t understand your needs, it’s time to move on. Don’t lose yourself. Focus on what makes you happy. You want to be with someone who supports you, and your desires and goals. If you don’t like to cook, don’t cook. If you love to travel, then travel with or without them. You are in total control of your own happiness. Don’t put your happiness in the hands of others. If you find a partner who shares your passions and allows you to blossom into the person you are meant to be, then you are in a healthy relationship.

3. If you can sit in silence and share in laughter often.

There is nothing better than sitting in silence or snuggling while watching Netflix. These are the moments I cherish the most. On the flip side, my partner and I share many fun times together that make us laugh. Laughter is so important. I will never forget my second date with my current partner of two years. We were sitting in a restaurant on Siesta Key and were talking about masticating. He shoveled his food into his mouth so quickly that I told him how we are meant to chew our food roughly thirty times before we swallow. He looked at me with the funniest face and said, “Really?.” So, he grabbed a spoon of food and started counting. He didn’t even hit five chews before I could see the struggle on his face. I turned away to get a drink of water and when I looked back, the look on his face made me spit water all over him. We laughed until we cried. Before we knew it, the entire restaurant was looking at us and laughing. But, this is how we are, and I love it. Our energy together magnifies a room.

4. My favorite part of a healthy relationship is touching.

My partner and I are always holding hands, resting against each other, hugging, and kissing. There is no better feeling than the closeness you feel with someone you care about so much. The energy can be so magnetic that you can’t help but touch. Even after two years, we are the same, if not more, touchy. I would never want to lose that—it is an amazing feeling. I have been in relationships where we never touched, sat at opposite ends of the couch, and didn’t feel that intense passion for each other. Touching and intimacy are so important in building a healthy relationship.

5. Always share how much you care about your partner and vice-versa.

My partner and I don’t live together, but I stay with him on the weekends. Every day I wake up and he isn’t next to me, he is the first person I think about. I send him a message or loving meme on those days. There is nothing better than waking up to a beautiful message from the person you love. That is the way every couple should start the day, especially in the busy times we live in. It’s easy for people to get caught up in the day ahead. Start it off right by letting the one you love know you’re thinking about them before the day begins.

I hope that you can be strong enough to know when to let go of a toxic relationship and work on yourself. It is amazing what can happen when you heal your life and allow healthy relationships to blossom.